For the last month or so, Scott and I have both been very busy, and we will both be busy for the next month and a half. So busy, that we haven't spent much time together on weekends because we are doing things. Then, during the week, we have some evening meetings, or we go to the gym, and work out "together" (we're in the same weight room, but not really quality time together). This has caused me to reflect on how my view on relationships has changed a lot since we got married.

When I was single, I was also pretty busy, and I purposefully was involved in a lot of things because I wanted to do things while I was single, and then someday, when I got married, I would be happy to do less, spend more time with my family, and still know that I had done them. I made time to see my friends and my family, but if I was really busy for a couple weeks, I was ok. I wasn't lonely or emotional or felt rejected. I knew I was single, and I was ok with that, and I didn't mind being home alone at night, or even spending a weekend day by myself.

Since I've gotten married, I'm finding that when Scott and I don't spend much time together, and when we're both busy, I am getting very emotional and lonely. My level of "busyness" hasn't changed (maybe even LESS busy!), yet I feel so withdrawn from the world and all relationships. When Scott was at a conference for a few days, I even became angry with him for my loneliness!

I spent some time reading my Bible and praying about this. I don't want to be overly emotional, and I want to understand why I'm so much more emotional now that I used to be. I realized that part of the change is that my expectations for what is waiting for me at home has changed. Before, there wasn't someone at home to rely on, so I didn't expect anyone. Now, I know that Scott is there, and now I have an emotional attachment and reliance on him based on our love. That has changed me in wonderful ways, and it has also caused me to really miss him when he is not around, or when we don't have a lot of time to spend together. Wow! I'm not as strong as I thought I was!

This past weekend we purposefully decided not to make any plans or go anywhere, and spent Saturday together. It was great. Now, for the next 5 weeks of extreme busyness, I will be praying daily for emotional sturdiness, and thanking God every day that I am not alone.

This time of year...

I apologize for the lack of posts. This time of year is when volleyball club season is in high gear, and basically all I do is work and do volleyball stuff! Scott has also been busy with work. Here's a re-cap of the last few weekends (since the week days consisted of yes, you guessed it, work):

Feb. 20: Scott and I became First Aid/CPR certified! A group of people from our church (including us) are joining the local CERT--Community Emergency Response Team--and this was the first step. We will be doing more training in various subjects so that if there is an emergency, we are on the list of people to call to do anything from sandbag (floods are coming) to answer phone calls to chainsaw tree limbs.

Feb. 27-28: The VB club I am the administrator for hosted a tournament at the Oskaloosa schools, so I spent all day Sat. and Sun. in the gym running the tournaments. Scott played volleyball in pella on Saturday, and hung out on Sunday.

March 1-4: Scott was at a conference all week, so I worked late every night, as I will never run out of work at this time of year. I also made a trip to Half Price books to spend the rest of my Christmas money.

March 6: Scott and I both spent the day at home, sleeping in, watching a movie, eating breakfast together, playing wii, and relaxing. No volleyball. This is the last day we will have like this until the end of April. It was nice. For supper we drove to Pella and had supper with my ENTIRE family!

March 7: went to church at the Bridge in Ottumwa, where my former roommate Sara Statema married Chris Johnson as part of the worship service.

And now we are caught up!